As a school going kid I remember how six to eight kids travelling to school in autorickshaw spoke sparingly because everyone's mind would be occupied or rather tangled by some unknown anxiety and fear regarding mundane chores in school but which felt larger than life then. If one forgets to wear a tie or belt, or doesn't do homework etc., then the whole task used to be save oneself from getting caught. Even till today mind is still caught up in Saving oneself from getting caught on wrong side of the rule. Going to office in morning, mind is still occupied by one thing or the other with very less space to think independently and creatively. Nothing has changed in a way from school to office, mind is conditioned to be prison of its own imagination. This imagination schooled by fear, anxiety and nervousness. I feel it's like that of the elephant in circus who is tied by a thin chain to a hook in ground and the elephant feel it cannot move away from the hook because elephant doesn't even realise it's strength. Is it fault of elephant to not realise it's strength or is it fault of circumstances that the elephant never realises hook has been tied to its mind by conditioning. I can feel sorry for the Elephant but fail to see the chains my mind has been conditioned to.
Mind cannot stand void. "I think, therefore I am",by René Descartes doesn't seem empowering to me. Instead it becomes clearer to me that the thinking voice is not me, but it is occupying me. Infact I am not thinking, my mind cannot stop the thinking voice, I don't have any control over the voice. The thinking voice keeps chatter going on all the time, just that I am able not to show it. The day I show it outside by speaking out loudly with the voice I will be pronounced as lunatic. Although it's not me alone , we all as a society are lunatic just that it is not showing up. I realise I can't even think, I just fill the void by the voice talking in my head.
Deep
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